Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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