How'd it feel making her break her religion?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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