she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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