I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
