A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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