Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
