yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
