please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
