she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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