apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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