worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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