Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Don't tell me you're on acid again
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
