i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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