yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
