Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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