no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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