i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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