i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
