dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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