Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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