I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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