you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
