If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
