I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
