Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
