Buhtt sex?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize