Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
