when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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