Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Panties = found
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
