I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
