Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Operation Purity has been aborted
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
