yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Dicks are not precious.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
