You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
