She's JV to your varsity
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
A+ Viking dick
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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