everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
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