I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
