he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
