is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
