I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
This is my gift to your gina
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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