The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
