What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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