some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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