she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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