I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
