We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
