Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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