Whats the glycemic index on semen?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
