I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
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