We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
the day after is always just damage control
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
True strength comes from lack of pants
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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