I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
