Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I have demons in me.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
