That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize