I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
pop tarts are not kleenex
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
