So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Can I color on your dick again?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
