whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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