On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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