She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
