Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I think your dad took our porno
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
