Kiss
Puke
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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