is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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