ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
i now understand why vodka
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
