He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
