i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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