Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
